Watching morning telly, I'm having a arguement with myself again at how much I've been ripped off by my ex-wife. How little she could afford to give me while the extension works to the house go on unending. Gives me chills of rage right now writing this. So I drive to work in my listless disillusioned state, appearing at work much the same. Tired, and completely non motivated. Jackie rings about some tickets and I can't even find the energy to be nice to her. Shitty amends to shitty jobs and a patronising 'if you run out of work, come and see me." Phone ringing every five minutes which no one can be bothered to answer, everyone continually moaning about someone who is paid far more than me who is rude and arrogant and gets away with incompetence.
Weekend ahead. I predict, an argument full Saturday where Jackie and I keep asking each other if there's something we both want to do, neither of us will decide. Me because I have no enthusiasm for anything and Jackie because, I have no enthusiasm for anything. We will probably finally agree to do something for the sake of it, which I won't appear happy with thus Jackie won't want to do. I will sit on the computer trying to work, Jackie will clean. I will cook. Bed. Sunday If I don't ring Steve and try and organise saying good bye to him, no one will call me, I will probably sit on the computer all day, smoking in between. Half heartedly cook some basic food, or eat from a tin. Ring children, miss Halloween. Bed.
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